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Archive for the 'Marriage' Category

Everything is changing

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

My wife, Sarah, started a new job on Wednesday. She had been looking for a new job basically since she got her old job, over a year ago. It’s already clear that her new job is a huge improvement over the old one, in every way. She now has better pay and benefits, but most importantly, her new employer treats her much better. Sarah will no longer have forced overtime, or constant worrying about meeting arbitrary metrics that make no sense, or her boss constantly looking over her shoulder. Her new employer treats her like the professional she is … with respect. I can’t fathom yet what a difference this will make in her daily lives.

I’m so thrilled that she finally found a good job, one that suits her well, and will put to use her variety of talents. And I’m proud of her for keeping her chin up when her old job was getting her down, working through it, and never ceasing her search for something better. The search has finally paid off, and she has earned every bit of her newfound success.

Somehow, things have a way of changing for both of us at the same time. Back in October of 2009, we both started new jobs … on the same day. Last month, before Sarah’s interviews for this job, I commented that Sarah would probably find a new job, and I guessed that she would start work at the same time I start classes, in keeping with our major-changes-happening-simultaneously trend. My guess was off by less than a week.

Which leads me to school. As I’ve mentioned, I am starting classes at Indiana University on Monday, my return to college after dropping out of Northwestern back in 2001 or so. It’s hard to believe that this is actually happening. I always wanted to finish my degree, but it never seemed quite within reach. But I applied, and got accepted, and then I got a scholarship, and some help from my mother, and now I’ll even get a bit of tuition reimbursement from Sarah’s new job. I can even keep the job I have now, and simply cut back my hours. Everything, it seems, has  aligned to make this possible.

I am thrilled, scared, giddy, and excited, all at once.  My first-semester classes will be the perfect combination of technical, academic, challenging, creative, and fun.

So, for Sarah and me, it’s time to start the next chapter in our lives. I have no idea where this will lead us, ultimately, but we are both ready for whatever life throws at us next. And I feel so grateful that I get to go through all this with my wonderful wife. We’ve had some setbacks, but I think are about to improve drastically. It’s going to be a wild ride!

2008 in review

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

Thinking back on 2008, it must have been the most eventful year of my life. Here’s a rough outline of major events in chronological order — some good, some bad (I’ll do a separate post with riding highlights soon).

  1. Found out that my riding buddy, Dave, had a wreck and injured his spinal cord (he is recovering very well, and is back to riding the trails)
  2. Got engaged
  3. Had my wisdom teeth removed
  4. Celebrated Sarah’s graduation from grad school
  5. Took a trip to North Carolina and Virginia, to explore some job possibilities for Sarah.  While there, I was hit by a car (which then “ran”). I had some scrapes and a broken/dislocated finger, which still hurts sometimes (it happened in June). Then our car broke down. We did manage to see some beautiful sights while we were there, but the trip was pretty much a complete bust. Sarah did not get either job. Actually, we thought she was getting the one in Virginia, and just as we thought they were going to make an offer, they told us they had a hiring freeze, and could not fill the position.
  6. Got married
  7. Moved to Pennsylvania, since Sarah found a job here. I kept my job, and have been working from home.
  8. Found out I’m getting laid off from my job. December 31 (tomorrow) will be my last day.
  9. Took steps to form my own company providing Web development and other services. This is the first I’ve mentioned it on the blog, I’ll say more later.

Hitched, without a hitch

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Our wedding went absolutely perfectly. I’ll get to the details of the wedding in a minute, but let me start at the beginning. First, a little background. We got married at Yellowwood State Forest, not far from Bloomington, Indiana, where we live. We rented a shelter by the lake. We have done quite a bit of hiking, camping, and biking at Yellowwood, so it’s a place that means a lot to us. Since we wanted to get married outdoors, it wasn’t hard to decide that we should do it at Yellowwood. Note: I am only posting a few photos now. I’ll post many more later. Most of the photos are not mine.

Friday

Friday was a day off work spent making preparations and hoping the rain would stop. It rained most of the day and was really quite disgusting outside. We even bought a bunch of candles and some oil lamps so it wouldn’t be too dark in the tent/shelter, if we had to have our ceremony under them. Friday evening, our families finally met for the first time over Italian food. Good times and good food were had by all, and everyone got along very well.

Friday night

Friday night we had planned to get a campsite, and invited everyone to make s’mores around a campfire. Since it had rained all day, we instead opted to use a fireplace in the shelter where we were getting married, in case it started raining again. We showed up late (this would later become a theme, and I felt terrible about it each time). We weren’t sure anyone would show up. Who would be crazy enough to drive out to the middle of nowhere, after a day of nothing but rain, in the dark, through dense fog, to sit around a fire?

About 20 people, as it turned out. In fact, a few people were already there waiting by the time we arrived. It was extremely muggy, but everyone enjoyed themselves nonetheless. I built a fire, which went a lot smoother than I expected (it’s hard to build a fire with people watching). We made a lot of s’mores, had both cold and hot apple cider (with optional rum) and spent about 2 hours catching up with friends. There were a number of people there who I hadn’t seen in years, and it was great to talk to them.

Once things were winding down, Sarah and I took a minute to go down by the water just the two of us. The fog was extremely dense and the glow of the moon made it possible to see the lake slightly. It was truly beautiful and I was glad we got a few moments to ourselves.

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Yellowwood Lake in the fog, at night

After that, Sarah and I parted ways, not to see each other again until the wedding. I went back to the cabin we rented with my groomsmen, Michael and Josh, my best friends from when I went to Northwestern University, and Michael’s wife, Laurel. We stayed up late hanging out at the cabin.

Saturday

Preparations

We had been worried it’d rain, as it did in the days leading up to the wedding, but we had a gorgeous sunny day. It was a bit warm, in the upper 80s, and quite humid, but that sure beat rain, and the wind kept everyone a little cooler and added a certain dreamy atmosphere to the proceedings.

The groomsmen and I were running a little behind schedule. Josh and Laurel and I went to set up signs directing people to the wedding. At one stop I started driving before Josh was all the way in the car — he ended up hopping alongside the car as I drove off, yelling at me to stop. I stopped just a few feet later, and felt really bad I’d done that. He wasn’t hurt.

We got to the wedding site a little late and did a few photos before the ceremony, but we weren’t able to do as many as we’d hoped. I talked to the minister to make sure everything was in order, and asked him about 50 different questions about how the ceremony was supposed to go. I was nervous, not about getting married, but about being up in front of everyone.

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Yellowwood Lake

The Wedding Ceremony

Before I knew it, things were under way. Everything was perfect. The chairs were set up in the best possible place near the lake, the musicians sounded amazing, the wind made the leaves rustle in the trees. I escorted mom down the aisle and to her seat, and went to stand at the front. My groomsmen were close behind. I looked up and could see Sarah and Sammy, the flower girl walking together. They were still fairly far away, but their gradual approach made me anticipate Sarah drawing near even more.

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Me, with mom

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Anticipation

Sammy, who is four, was being very shy and holding Sarah’s hand. She dropped all of the flower petals in one spot, rather than dropping a few as she walked. I swear, she is the cutest kid ever, and while dropping all the flower petals in a pile wasn’t exactly what we had in mind, she was performing her #1 task of being adorable.

As Sarah approached, I was just stunned by her beauty. She looked incredible. Her dress had several layers of sheer fabric, and while her veil hid her face slightly, it just made me want to see more. I was so overwhelmed that I forgot to pull her veil back, and she had to remind me. A smooth move on my part.

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Sarah approaches

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Getting started

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Bridesmaids and flower girl

The minister gave an introduction, after which my sister delivered a touching speech about what love is, and how we embody that, and how both of us looked to our grandparents (who are no longer with us) as a source of inspiration of the ideal marriages. It was a little difficult, as we really wished our grandparents could have been there, but it was the best way to honor their memory.

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My sister after her speech

Next, my mom played a piece on the cello with one of the musicians, who she taught to play. I was glad they played something a little upbeat, as it might’ve been too much to handle otherwise.

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Mom playing the cello

The rest of the ceremony itself is a blur. I had the various parts of the ceremony compartmentalized in my head (sermon, vows, rings, presentation, benediction, etc) but it all flowed together very nicely. I was glad it was so coherent, but it was a bit dizzying how quickly we went from one thing to the next.

All this time I could do little other than gaze at my bride. She’s always gorgeous, but I’ve never seen her looking this beautiful. Her veil blew in the wind, at times getting in the way, but seeing the long fabric flow was very pretty. And the sun reflected off her veil, illuminating her face with a soft glow. She was breathtaking.

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Sarah looked beautiful. Apparently, she couldn’t keep her eyes off me, either.

Soon we got to the vows, and at first my voice was very shaky. I had to make a conscious effort to regain my composure and to my surprise, it worked. I stood up as straight as I could (which was more difficult than you’d think, as we were on the side of a hill) and delivered my vows with more confidence. I looked at Sarah and listened to her delivering her vows. She was crying as she did so. I’m not sure if she realized how close to tears I was.

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Exchanging vows

Somewhere in here we exchanged rings, and this went smoothly also. The minister said some other stuff, but to be honest I wasn’t really paying much attention anymore. I had said at several points leading up to the wedding that the kissing the bride part was really the part I was looking forward to, and the minister alluded to this, saying “NOW, you may kiss the bride.” As I kissed my wife for the first time, I was completely overwhelmed. This moment had finally come. It was fantastic.

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Kissing the bride

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Walking out

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Groomsmen, and another new wife of about a month


We walked out down the aisle, in hindsight we probably just about ran out of there. We were moving at a good clip, I think. We set ourselves up for a receiving line but were still reeling from the whole experience. We greeted everyone, and then spent some time taking photos.

Photos

We did a few with the wedding party and our families at the wedding location, and a few with just the two of us in a couple of other places closer to the lake, at the cabin we rented, and by a silo, cornfield, fence, and a bridge.

Food and Toasts

We returned after being gone too long taking photos. Kids were playing by the lake, finding geodes, catching bugs, and throwing rocks in the lake. My nephew (who was the usher) pretty well destroyed his tux — it was great.

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Kids playing by the lake

The heat was getting to me, and I was not feeling very well. The food was cold by the time we returned. Fortunately everyone had done as we asked and went ahead and ate while we were gone. We were starving, but I had a hard time eating. It was just too hot. We spent some more time talking to our guests, and soon it was time for a toast — but not before I managed to spill champagne all over my sleeve while opening an overzealous bottle.

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Opening more champagne

I gave a brief toast thanking our mothers, the rest of our family, the wedding party, our guests, and above all, Sarah. It was a little generic, perhaps, but I really did want to thank everyone for everything they’d done. Josh, one of my groomsmen, had been working on a toast all day (literally) and while I liked it, a few people thought it was a little mean. He did talk about some low times in our lives, but I think the point was that Sarah and I are strong enough together to overcome just about anything. He may have missed the mark on a couple of points, but overall I thought it was very good — and he put a lot of thought into it. It meant a lot to me. Sarah’s sister (and bridesmaid) said a few words as well, which was very sweet.

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Sarah

Hiking

After the toasts, we split up to prepare for a hike. We had been planning a hike after the wedding, but people needed to go back to town to change and get ready for it. I was hoping to get a little rest first, but there wasn’t much time for that.

Most people didn’t return for the hike, and I can’t say I blame them. It was hot, and everyone was very tired. In fact, the humidity was even worse in the woods. I was still not feeling well, but I still enjoyed the hike. We hiked the Jackson Creek trail, which is a little over a mile. After that, we did have a little time to rest, after which I felt much better.

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The forest

Evening

We met the wedding party and some other friends at Lennie’s, a restaurant in Bloomington that’s attached to the Bloomington Brewing Company. The food and beer were great, and by this time I felt Sarah’s friends and my friends were interacting well as one group. At first the groups had mostly talked separately, but we had some great conversation at dinner as one larger group.

After that, we headed back to the cabin to celebrate with drinks and a bad action movie. We spent the time much how we normally do when we hang out with our friends, and it was great. We need someone else to get married so we have another excuse to get together.

Sunday

We stayed up late and celebrated. We all went out for breakfast and spent some time just talking more at our apartment. We looked at some photos that Mike, one of Sarah’s friends, had taken. He did a great job, and I hope I can post them somewhere soon.

After everyone left, we went to take down the wedding signs and return the cabin keys. It was an extremely windy day (thanks, Ike!) and as we drove around town there were branches and debris blowing everywhere.

We headed out toward where the wedding was, and I was thinking how amazed I was that everything had gone so well. I almost expected something to go wrong, and well … it did. As we were driving down State Road 46 and around 45 mph, the wind blew a tree over. It fell onto the road right in front of us. I hit the brakes, but couldn’t stop in time. We rolled right over it, but got a flat tire in the process.

Sarah was visibly shaken. I was a little bit too but I quickly got out the jack and spare tire and went to work. Unfortunately, we were on an incline, and as soon as I got the wheel off the ground, the car rolled forward down the hill, crushing the jack beneath it. The car only moved 6-12 inches, but the jack is only designed to handle downward pressure. It didn’t make it.

We ended up having to have the car towed, and later we’d find we did about $400 in damage to the car. Still, I’ll take that over a problem with the actual wedding any day.

I’m still stunned at how well the wedding went. Married life is excellent so far — I feel closer to Sarah than ever. It’s truely been an amazing experience.

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